Thursday, September 28, 2006

Odds and Ends: Quick Clips

Just two click clips that must be shared with everyone.  Enjoy!

Beware the wrath of Orgeron:  Try your damndest not to laugh too loudly at this clip.  The Orgeron can hear you and he’s coming for your soul.

MSU Officially Broke Mike Valenti:  The ever-excellent House Rock Built has a clip of Mile Valenti’s outstanding post Michigan State meltdown rant.  I have only a few times in my life been that close to flipping out and they all involved GT sports events.  So I get his pain, but I will still laugh at it.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Odds and Ends: I'm Not Dead Yet!

Alright damn it, a three week diet of cupcakes (UVA I’m definitely looking in your direction) and a suddenly huge workload killed my posting streak. Being a Tech grad, I also think the continued use of words and the subsequent putting them together in a sentence thing broke my writing ability for a bit.

That being said, we’ve had some increased traffic on the site and our first real test since the ND game to start the season coming up this Saturday. So I guess I should get myself back into writing at least a little bit. I would even analyze the Falcons game, but since the announcing crew and America got their wish in NO winning the game I’ll just pass.

Moving On Up: Nathan has actually been promoted to paid blogger over on the AOL sports section. He’ll still be updating the Golden Tornado site in a fashion slightly more frequent than I update this site, but he’s putting up smaller information packed blurbs over on AOL as well.

Some other notable bloggers in the same boat are Ian from Sexy Results and Brian from Mgoblog. You should be checking all of those on a regular basis.

Yay, For Puppies: Keep Jeff from Ramblin Racket in your thoughts and prayers. It looks like he might be having his own little baby crotch licker.

True, True: Orson is going to be spending this week trash talking the fine state of Alabama. Of course he misses the paradox in expecting Alabamians to actually be able to read his online bashings.
Although Kenny Irons apparently got 4 credit hours for being logged on to EDSBS last week.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Tech Fans: Behind the Curtain

(Finally the article that I have been deliberating on since starting this blog. The article that will pull me off of other Tech blog rolls, get me banned from GT message boards, and fill my inbox with poorly punctuated, yet highly mathematic, vitriol. Obviously not all of this true, unless it is.)

While Orson might have prepped our Irish friends for their trip to Atlanta, what he didn’t adequately prepare them for was actually dealing with Tech fans. Considering the amount of time that we will spend together this Saturday, I believe it important for the Domers to understand what it is that makes the average Tech fan tick. How exactly we go about our lives and what is the impetus for how the why and how of our behavior.

I give unto you Tech Fans: Behind the Curtain

I drive . . . I drive . . . I drive a Dodge Stratus! No quote has better summed up the thought process of the average engineer quite like the gem above. The truth is that Tech is a hard school (not as hard as some make it out to be and I’ll touch on that later), but in truth it pretty much prepares most of us for boring non-fulfilling middle manager positions that many lack the social or tactical ability to escape. Go and watch that clip again, and not only because it’s hysterical, the slow build up to anger is quintessential middle-aged engineer. Lucky for the visiting fan there is one universal truth at work here; there is no funnier rage than bitter impotent rage. If you want to see something really special make some comment about how you think your school is better than ours. I would keep a minimum safe distance of about 10 feet. Not really because of potential violence, but the spittle associated with that level of histrionic sputtering and chest thumping can reach some impressive distances.
(Picture:) People are afraid of me!

My boy doesn’t have what you call the social skills. Interacting with the Tech fan socially can be an interesting and educational experience. While we are exceedingly intelligent within chosen vocations, there are certain levels of “social retardation” that are seemingly related to these traits. For instance the portion of the brain that says “don’t wear a short sleeve button down shirt with a tie” is woefully underdeveloped. Unfortunately we seem unable to turn our powerful deductive reasoning skills inward as to why our social lives do not turn out the way we wish for them to be. Deciding instead to surround ourselves with self-fulfilling prophecies and blatant falsehoods. The greatest of these being that while at Tech you had no time for a social life. We like to make it appear that we were regularly placed within a burlap sack and beaten with reeds for our insolence. The truth is that we spent most Saturday nights in our dorms chatting with the ever charming and understanding IvanaHumpalott who more likely than not was a 500-pound Russian refugee named Ivan.

A great philosopher once said, “Rationalizations are more important than sex.” When challenged that nothing is more important than sex he wisely responded, “ever been a week without a rationalization?” As we don’t get laid anyway, trust me when I say that we fill that void with rationalizations. In fact much like the doting mother protecting their child, Tech fans are at their greatest skills in weaving half-truths when lying to themselves. Clearly the other kids are making fun of your completely sweet silk Wolverine tie, because you’re smarter than they and that threatens them. (Uh, not that I know anything about that.)

The Sin of Being Incorrect: Engineers are taught from the earliest stages of their education that there is no greater sin in this world than being wrong. And with good reason as you might have heard of a few rounding mistakes in engineering: The Hindenburg, Challenger, Columbia, Chernobyl, etc. Unfortunately, we’ve allowed this attitude to carry over into the softer sciences like psychology, politics, and football. We then mingle this delightful fear of falsity with the aforementioned handicap in the area of the social graces and create a concoction in which arrogance plied by willful ignorance is mistaken for confidence. Thus be prepared to see otherwise rational people unwilling to give up the silliest stances on subjects all because of the abject fear of being incorrect.

(Picture: Should have carried the one.)

Be Prepared!

So when you combine all of this together you get an interesting hodge-podge of existence. A being possessing a broad range of ability, but sometimes woefully short of application. A creature with an over inflated sense of entitlement, but without the vocabulary to explain why. For instance while Tech Fans might try to convince you that we don’t like Domers, because of historical rivalry, running up the score, fish throwing, etc. The truth is that whenever Notre Dame fans are around we’re no longer the most undeservedly arrogant person in the room.

And if you’re not first, you’re last. So welcome to campus, bitches.